As with most everything that we wish to achieve, the magic formula almost always calls for time, patience, and practice. To be comfortable in the saddle you will have to practice and spend time in the saddle to master your skill.
Horse Nation shares some exercises from "50 Best Arena Exercises and Patterns" by Ann Katrin Querbach that can help develop your feel for the movement and rhythm of your horse. These exercises will teach you to know when the horse moves each leg which in turn helps you to recognize exactly to apply an aid, which will influence the movement of a specific leg of the horse to increase the action or bear more weight, respectively.
For details: Learning to Sense & Feel in the Saddle
Image Credit: Future Stars Camps
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