The Winning Problem: The Challenge of Managing Early Success in Sports

Winning is usually seen as a good thing, but it can come with its own set of challenges for young people. Understanding how to help your children handle winning is an important part of their development.

Everyone likes to win. Whether it is children playing a game on the playground with their friends, or an adult playing a pick-up game after work, winning is always the goal. As your child gets into organized sports, a portion of the focus will be on winning both at an individual and team level. There are certainly other goals involved when playing sports, but winning is always going to be near the top of the list.

With that in mind, it's great news when winning seems to come easy to your child, right? Wouldn't every parent dream of having a child who is naturally able to rise above the competition and come out victorious? There is certainly nothing wrong with winning at a young age, but it might not be all that it's cracked up to be.

When winning comes easy, there are certain lessons that may be overseen by a young athlete. For example, hard work is one of the most important lessons that young people can learn through their participation in sports. However, when they are able to simply walk out onto the field and succeed, they may not gain that valuable work ethic that could serve them well later in life. Instead, they will come to expect success without putting in the work - and that expectation could lead to complacency.

Of course, that doesn't mean that you want your kids to lose on purpose. Another great lesson to be found in sports is giving your best effort at all times, and frequently that great effort will lead to winning. So what should you do if your child is constantly coming out on top? There are a few pieces of advice that may help you keep them on track despite having so much early success -

• Focus on the process. It is okay to celebrate a victory, but the focus should be mostly on the process of playing the game. Every kid (and adult) has things that they can improve on in their chosen sport, so make sure your child understands there is always room for improvement - even in victory.
• Emphasize sportsmanship. Be sure to highlight the importance of always respecting and appreciating opponents, no matter what sport your child happens to play. It is easy for kids to fall into the trap of being condescending toward their competition, so it is crucial that an adult teaches them how to be respectful.
• Give them the big picture. Success as a child is great, but inevitably the competition is going to improve as the years go by. You don't want to tear down your child's confidence, as they have earned their success, but help them see that sports will become more difficult later in life.

As a parent of a successful child, you have to walk a fine line between celebrating their success and helping them develop important skills like work ethic and sportsmanship. Hopefully, you will be able to walk that line and provide them with a balance between confidence and humility that will serve them well going forward.